On the 3rd of March, my daughter Jae.don (who I usually refer to as Christi[a nickname from her middle name]) turned 6. The entire day before I found that I was rather emotional about her having this little milestone and kept telling her, "come here and hug Mommy....I'm saving up your five year old hugs" or "let me kiss you again, I need another 5 year old kiss". She'd roll her eyes and smile and then oblige me. Her daddy thought he'd help things by saying..."Today she's five, before you know it we'll be at her wedding" and then he'd wink at her. She laughed for awhile with him and then she'd run back over to me and sit in my lap. That night before bed she climbed in my lap and snuggled up like a baby and just rested there. I could tell that she'd been longing to do it all night, but was trapped between wanting to be big like all her siblings and wanting to be small and still be the baby. So I held her and tickled her and talked baby talk to her...her giggling the entire time. It was a very sweet and wonderful time for both of us. After a bit she climbed down and went and got into her Daddy's lap. There she just laid on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. They didn't speak, joke or giggle...they just sat. Their hearts did the talking, what I call "heart-speak" After a time gave him his goodnight kiss and headed off to bed.
Its in the reflection of those moments where my own Heavenly Father speaks to me about his love. I'm so much like her in my day to day. I rush from one commitment to the other, often toting kids, stuff and life. I am often taking care of today while I'm planning tomorrow, next Tuesday and next month all in the same breath. To get all accomplished, it must be this way sometimes. But there are times where I forget that the "now" moments are what are shaping next Tuesday, and next month, not to mention next year and so on. I need to have moments of just quiet rest and playfulness. I need to remember my childishness. I also need to climb into my Daddy's arms sometimes and just sit and hold and be held...no words are needed in those times, it's all "heart-speak".
