I went looking for my ideals outside myself and discovered it's not what the world holds for you, but what you bring to it. The dreams dearest to my heart are right here. Anne Shirley, Anne of Green Gables, The Sequel
While working on some of the photos from a recent photo shoot I came across the quote above and thought that it so perfectly describes what many of us feel about home. So I decided to go outside with my camera and take a photo of my dream world.
Niki has joined the Spirit Squad, a must if you want to have a chance to try out for cheerleader in the spring. Niki has decided that she wants to try out. Niki left a recent game with a proud smile on her face, she had won the spirit stick giving her the priviledge of taking the stick home to decorate and return to school.
Well first games are out of the way...the kids had a good time and so did I! The Coyotes (1st/2nd grade team I'm coaching) played really well, especially for a team that is half experienced and the other half first timers. The Dragonflies (Christi's team, 4&5 year olds) played a spirited game of "run that way". Everyone once in a while, someone would get in a kick and head off after the ball. It was so cute. Christi got in a couple of good kicks, and ran quiet gracefully. Her main objective is to run without messing up her ponytail. On to game #2 on Saturday.
Christi has been loving doing her little learning books. She loves the math the most, but also loves the letters and patterns. She usually brings in one of her activities to do while I'm getting myself ready for the day (after the other kids have left for school) It is a fun time for her, and I get to put on my makeup without needing to share my lipstick...most of the time. :)
This past weekend, as Husband and I were driving to lunch, we noticed a huge tent set up in the parking lot of our closest mall. It intrigued me, so when I found out it was a small circus I decided to give it a try. My oldest two kids had been to the circus before, but the younger two had not....it was high time they saw elephants and trapeze artists and dog doing the cha-cha.
It was a very nice circus, perfect for first timers! My son started out being afraid of clowns (common fear I'm told) but I convinced him to ask for Holy Spirit to help him overcome his fear so he could have this fun experience. He took a few minutes, a deep breath and then started walking. He started out by looking directly at a clown. I told him to focus on the fact that he could tell it was just a man or woman wearing a lot of make-up. I told him to focus on the nose, eyes, ears....the same features that we all have. After he was able to do that, he smiled a little then waved tentatively. The clown guy waved back and smiled. We were then able to walk on into the tent and find our seats. We watched the stunts done with amazement, we clapped when the poodles all stood with their front paws on the backs of the poodle in front and danced the cha-cha and when the elephants did their balancing acts, it pleased all. After an elephant ride for one child and a pony ride for another, we walked out to the van. My son looked at me and said "Thank you Mom for forcing me to go in the tent. It was the best show ever!" I laughed. I reminded him that I did not force him but encouraged him, and then I said "you're welcome!". Christi proclaimed it the "best day ever" and the older two loved sharing this event with the younger two. What a great memory.
Life has been going really well lately, just a bit busy. I love it, I truly do! This is my favorite time of year, school going on a regular schedule, fall craft festivals have started, pumpkin patches have opened and fall soccer games start this Saturday. But I have had to make adjustments in my time allotments to make room for the life going on around us.
One of these adjustments has been finding ways to spend time together as a family without making it a crazy day. Dinner is one of those times, but since I have no desire to cook I have found my list of places where kids eat free invaluable. Tuesdays are our favorite nights....McAlister's has kids eat free night (two per paying adult). This month they have this wonderful lady doing free face painting. We had such a good time watching FacePainter do her magic, all in a matter of minutes. It was amazing, we stayed for an hour watching, getting something cool and enjoying a great healthy dinner.
Last night, while the older two girls went to their schools football game, the younger two and I went to Culvers for some dinner. I had actually planned on going to a "kids eat free place" since it would be so much cheaper, but I was weak-willed and let them talk me into Culvers. They love going to the free custard they get when they finish their meal, I love that they share with me. Bonus...they have great fries!
Once the sugar from the frozen custard kicked in, the two little ones were very content for me to take pictures of them making silly faces...this one is my favorite.
**editing to remove typos...blaming them on the thumb!**
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to another episode of "My son, My heart!" When we left last time you had just learned that Ryan had turned 8 years old. There was a thumb incident that left Momma unable to detail his greatness. Today, we pick up the story.
The weekend before the big birthday our church body had a Pastor's
Appreciation Picnic, an annual event that happens to be the exact place that Ryan, when still in -utero, decided to break forth with so much praise that my water broke standing in front of about 15 people, give or take a few. So to say that Ryan loves this annual event is an understatement. He looks forward to it as much as Christmas. This year, he was particularly excited. I wrote it off to what I call "birthday glitter"...that time before the actual birthday that the child practically sparkles with excitement.
Upon arriving, our tradition is to mingle, give our pastors cards that try to express our appreciation for unyielding service to our church body and, after a prayer of blessing is said over the food, we get in line for the food. (I know this is a lot of detail, but it's necessary for the story I am laying before you) After loading plates, Ryan and I went to the drink station where Liz and Sherri, two women from our church body, were serving drinks (we all have job shifts for fairness). My son was so sweet and said "Thank you for making my drink for me...have a good day!" and went on his merry way. I was glowing with pride for his manners and smiled, thanked my friends and went on. Later, when I approached the drink station for a refill, my son was there again, this time giving them a small plate of what looked to be leftover food. My smile of pride from earlier was replaced with sternness.
Me: "Ryan, they are not responsible for your plate." He looked at me strange,
Ryan: "That's OK." and walked away.
The momma in me opened my mouth for a quick rebuke, but was stopped, mouth open, by Sherri.
Sherri: "You don't understand. He brought that food for us. He wanted to make sure that we get something to eat since we are in here serving. He brought it to be nice."
I was amazed. They were amazed. They had thought that I had sent him over to do it to be nice since a couple of years ago they had actually missed out on a lot of the food because they had been serving drinks that time too. They thought I knew it and sent him to take the food. I had no idea and just stood there stunned. Later I was stopped by one of the elders in my church...He had taken her food as well. Still later, he went and took dessert to the women he had served, making sure that they had what they needed. That night, when I told my husband about the servants heart that my son had displayed I cried. Not tears of ungodly pride, but tears of humility. My son had the courage to be gracious and serve without need for reciprocation.
That following Monday, Grandma called. She told him that she hadn't had a chance to get him his gift yet, that it would be late. To which he responded. "I do not need anything Grandma, just your love." And he meant it. It flowed through my heart like honey, watered my soul like a quiet rain. I saw him for the first time as not just a little boy, but as someone who was well on his way to be a Godly man, a joyful giver and heart sensitive to the Lord's leading.
It was his birthday, but I feel like I received that most precious gifts this year!
Today is my only son's birthday...I know he will spend a lifetime hearing "Oh, your birthday is September 11th? That's so sad." But to him and us, although we do remember that day with extreme sadness, we also have great joy associated with that day. He is the sweetest, most giving boy...he makes my heart so glad to know that I get the privilege of being his mom. I have some stories I will be writing soon about him to demonstrate his heart...but it will sadly have to wait until I am able to type a little better. (short story: thumb on dominate hand...van door smashed shut on it from a gust of wind..had to pry van door open to release thumb. It's not broken, but it is making life [and typing] more difficult.)
Blessings on your day.
My husband is one for surprises. He doesn't like to receive them as much as he likes to give them. He's the one one who gave me three years worth of surprise birthday parties. He's the one who plans get-a-ways for the two of us, he's the one who bought me a necklace and smuggled it in my sister's suitcase to Mexico to give to me on our first dress up dinner night. He is good at surprises. Last night he gave me a great surprise. He decided to learn how to make sushi, since we both love it so much. He bought all the stuff, found out how to make my favorite combinations and he spent two hours preparing, cutting, assembling and arranging these yummy plates of sushi for our dinner. He amazes me at each turn of our lives.
Yesterday, while waiting for school to start Christi and I had a few minutes to visit with one another about life and playgrounds. She informed me that she likes the playground because it has a lot of different things to do...you can slide, climb, swing, dig, run and jump. "It makes playing more funner", she said. I asked her which activity she liked best. "Hmm", she said, "I guess it's the one where you're having fun." Good point!
As adult, we often find pleasure in certain things and a deep dislike in others. Not because they are terrible things, just because of our attitude involved in them. I tend to dislike grocery shopping and cooking. But...when Jean 2 meets me @ W*lmart for groceries I have a good time, probably too much of a good time since it takes three hours instead of one. And cooking. Well, if Jean 3 is in the kitchen with me to talk to and with which to visit, it's suddenly fun. It's not the task, it's the company that changes the task. I've not tried this theory yet with toilet scrubbing...but I have a sneaking suspicion that it would apply here as well.
Podcasts are becoming my ready companions for my mundane or less joyful tasks...it's like carrying my friends in my earphones, helping me to laugh through the day and hum a tune while I work. Nothing gets the ironing done faster than a bit of Ron Kenoly praise music or floors mopped more thoroughly than Casting Crowns.
Spur of the moment. On a whim. Spontaneous departure. Getting the Heck out of Dodge. Whatever one calls it, Mommy's need time to just be. Be who they are when they are not with their kids. Be who they are when they are not caring for their homes. Be who they are when they are not ironing clothes for their husbands. Be who they are when the kids are grown and out of the house. Be who they are, Period. As a mom, until last year, I had fallen into the belief that who I was had been engulfed and absorbed by my husband and children, that I no longer had my own separate identity. I'm not trashing on my family. OH NO! I cherish my husband and children beyond words. I would not trade one day that I have had with them (although I would maybe try for a trade on some of those "flu and strep throat days) nor do I wish for a different life, I am very content. But there are days when it is easy to allow oneself to lose sight of who it is that God created...me. Not self-centered looking, but inward looking. When I had lost sight of that, I had stopped growing, changing, becoming a new creation. I was more focused on helping my children be who they were created to be, more focused on supporting my husband as he was doing and being who he was created to be....but myself, no. It's not to say that God had discontinued to speak to me, or that I had no direction in life, but I had lost sight of the fact that someday down a fairly short path, I was going to emerge as a person who no longer had the responsibilities of raising my children. Who would I be without that calling? How mature could I be if I had not been growing?
As I pondered these questions and re-read a couple of chapters in "Purpose Driven Life" I found that my purposes had lost definition. I was only living up to a few of the callings I had been given in my life. I was a loving wife, I was a giving mother, I was a caring friend, I was a productive part of our church body, I belonged to PTA and MOPS, I did A LOT OF STUFF. But, I was not feeding my spirit, allowing myself to relax, I was tying myself up in knots with my roles.
Last year, two of my best friends and I were blessed to take the trip of our dreams. We left behind all for one week and just lived. We talked, we discussed, we grew. It refreshed my spirit, my soul, my life. My husband said I came back a better me than I had ever been. Since that time, I've found that my heart had been yearning for that type of release, but I had denied it out of a presumed obligation to denying myself for the sake of the family. It brought the three of us (Jean 2 and Jean 3 and myself) closer...not just to each other, but to our families. It created a spout for all that stored up emotion, relieved all the emotional knots.
This past Saturday Jean 3 called and said "Jean 2 says she's in a funk. I told her what she needed was for her to kidnap you and meet me in Kansas City for a night." My spirit leaped. I was immediately on board, I just needed to run it by my spouse. His response "Sure, why not?" Just that easy. We three Jeans talked through 3-way calling and made our plans. We drove up, found a hotel, went for some retail therapy and then spent the rest of the night talking. The kind of talking that gets on deep levels, that deals with real issues and vaporizes tensions.
We headed home the next day fueled for life, energized for our families and refreshed in our spirits, and ideas of where we will go next year.
I have spent much of my time the last week and a half writing. If I were working on a deadline for a novel, I think I would have been able to contribute about 15 chapters in the last few days. But alas, I was filling out school forms. With four children in the school system I have filled out forms for each of the children that gives them the permissions, information, documentation, and maybe even the password to my ATM card. This is not my first experience with this onslaught, so I have developed some tried and true practices to help with the writers cramp.
1. Fill out the paper work minus the name and date and photocopy the paper, put this photocopy in a file. Why? Because you will get these same forms next year and in multiples if you have more than one child in school. If you have a copy on hand, provided you haven't changed their name or address from one year to the next, you can just print out a copy and fill in the name and date and send the form out the door. It's also the time saver if you happen to get a phone call or note home that says "Mrs. Blogger Queen, we didn't get little Blogglet's form, could you please fill it out again and send it in?" HIT PRINT AND BE DONE WITH IT.
2. Go through all backpacks, lunch bags, binders, Walmart bags (or whatever else your child uses to transport papers) and sort all papers into piles of "Return to School", "Save for Posterity" and "File 13". All File 13 papers go directly into the trash/recycle bins. Have your child take the "Save for Posterity" papers and put them into your saving place. My kids have bank boxes that hold file folders personalized with their names on it. That give you a smaller pile of paper with which you must deal. Sign all field trip, enclose lunch money and such and return them immediately to the backpack...no more forgotten items. Anything that can be filled out at leisure can be saved for the car line to relieve boredom and gives you the opportunity to concentrate on it while you wait your turn to pick up your darling....just be sure to put these forms into the backpack when you are dropping them off the next morning.
3. Do not feel like you need to keep everything that your darling creates. Trust me, you will get many, many, many items that you will feel compelled to keep. Let your child pick one favorite paper a week. At the end of the year you can go through and save the ten favorite items and a writing sample from the first of the year and the last of the year to show progression and development.
As my mind allows me to draw a deep breath on this long weekend, I wish a restful goodnight. :)
In my life I have songs that I have sung for so many years that I sing them without thought..they just kind of fly from my lips, sometimes in tune, sometimes not so much. As of late I've begun to focus on the songs I am singing, listening to words that have long lost their conviction and just become a part of rote vocalizations. This past Wednesday I was standing in the church service singing along with everyone else when Holy Spirit nudged my spirit and focused me in on the words I had been singing but not really meaning.
"Here I am to worship,
Here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God.
You're all together worthy , all together lovely, all together wonderful to me."
And then I couldn't sing anymore, I couldn't get the words to come out around the lump in my throat. My focus up to that point, to be completely honest, had been "whew, we made it on time to church". But once the words hit my spirit, I realized that the reason I was in that exact seat at that exact moment was to worship. to bow my heart, to proclaim God as my God....because He is worthy, lovely and wonderful to me.
As the week as progressed this song has come to me again and again...as I sit on the couch (why am I here? To Worship), as I pray with my kids (why am I here? To bow down my heart), as I sit down to write at my laptop (why am I here? To say that God is my God). I am able to go through my days because God is wonderful and lovely to me by blessing me with this family and life, for no other reason than because He is God.
My oldest, Bria, is now in 8th grade. I know! I can't believe it either...I remember starting 8th grade. It's the year I started wearing make-up, the year I moved to Smalltown Missouri where I eventually met Jean 2. It's when I began to fill out and started looking like a young lady and less like a little girl. So.....Here's Bria at this milestone. She's singing in a band for our church's Friday night youth hangout. She's wearing make-up. She's taking algebra and plays the flute. She's growing up.
