Thursday, February 9

Release

There was a time in my life when 10am on a Thursday meant watching an episode of Little Bear with my oldest two, or Blues Clues with my son, or The Wonder-pets with my youngest....I still have tucked deeply in my heart the related characters and/or theme songs.  I loved those days...most of the time.  But if I'm honest, and I am, I can say there were days that I thought to myself "I am going to go crazy if I hear _____(insert "cat whine about duck getting in the way", "the mailbox song", or "The Phone...the phone is ringing") one more time!  I felt like the days were endless sometimes, the chores insurmountable and the vision of being an at-home-mommy felt like drudgery.  Now, 10am on a Thursday means that I am alone in a quiet house, the only sound is coming from the ticking of the clock and the clicking of my keys on the keyboard...and I miss Little Bear, Blue and Ming-Ming....not in a melancholy kind of way, but in a "that seems like so long ago" kind of way.  Its so easy to lose sight of today due to looking to tomorrow or gazing back at yesterday....it can rob you of your joy today.

And we have such trust through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient of ourselves, to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Cor 3:4-6

As mom in the midst of planning a birthday parties, picking up/dropping off kids at school or work, and doing the endless laundry that accumulates, I often have to remind myself that my calling is still to serve and to witness to my children on a day-to-day basis. Two of our daughters are drawing near to testing their wings and beginning their journey into adulthood...and this, if left unchecked in my spirit, brings me to tears fairly easily.  I have found that it's easy to look back at the Little Bear days as the "good old days" and forget the joy of "Pomp and Circumstance".  I have to fight the urge to cram every little bit of parenting and wisdom into each conversation.  It's when I fight these urges with truth that I am again able to rest in the knowledge that God is not only my sufficiency but theirs also.  And in that rest I can enjoy what is now...and helping them plan for tomorrow with joy and excitement on their behalf while reminding myself to cherish the days I still have with the younger two.